•VIDEO• The Three D’s of Divorce

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Divorces need not be all disaster, damage and dread – Master the positive D’s of divorce and keep your sanity intact, writes LP Baartman Attorneys.

To begin with…

Delineate exactly what you expect of your attorney. Don’t waste your time and money switching from one divorce lawyer to another merely because you cannot see eye-to-eye with any of them. Choose someone who you feel will guide you toward your overall objectives rather than steer you in unfavourable directions.

Indicate precisely the facts surrounding the divorce and what you want to get out of it, so that your attorney is given a fair chance to understand your ambitions. Ask early on what your prospects are and what the plan of action is so you and your attorney stay on the same page throughout the divorce.

And don’t forget to…

Deal with your finances. Accurately assess how you want your assets to be divided, what is best for your children (if any) and what is realistic in terms of future maintenance. During this process make a conscious effort to separate your emotions from your objective targets. This may seem to be an intimidating and overwhelming burden but in order to protect yourself and possibly your children, it is important to know what you are (and are not) entitled to.

Financial planning is inherently difficult and for some people it is just plain confusing! If you feel you need assistance every step of the way, do not hesitate to ask your attorney for advice. You need to cope with these things to avert additional complications and trauma.

Last but not least…

Dodge common mistakes made by divorcees. Don’t be too hasty to have your divorce done and dusted at the expense of your financial security (no pun intended.) An unfair settlement is bound to leave you feeling resentful long after the divorce has been finalised.

Try to avoid situations that you know will increase the tension, such as rushing into a new relationship or passing threats in an attempt to get what you want. Bear in mind your long-term goals in having initiated or agreed to the divorce, and seek to minimise unnecessary arguments which are bound to have fruitless outcomes anyway.

Reasonable co-operation is likely to be your best strategy for managing your divorce in the least stressful way possible. It’s safe to say that divorces are never particularly easy – but to the same extent they can certainly be made better or worse by those who are involved.

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